Legal & Process FAQs
What is the difference between legal custody, physical custody, and parenting time?
Legal custody concerns major decisions about a child’s upbringing, such as education, health care, and religious or spiritual matters. Physical custody relates to the child’s care and living arrangements. Parenting time concerns when the child spends time with each parent. Because the terms address different questions, a statement like “50/50 custody” may not clearly describe what a family wants. It helps to discuss decision-making and the actual schedule separately.
How is a parenting-time schedule decided?
A child’s needs should guide the discussion. Parents may consider the child’s age and development, existing relationships and routines, school and activities, practical transitions between homes, and any safety concerns. The right amount of detail depends in part on how well the parents can communicate. A schedule should be understandable now and include a way to address changing circumstances later.
Should we ask our child which parent they want to live with?
A child should not have to feel responsible for choosing between parents. Parents can pay attention to the child’s needs and perspective without turning a difficult family decision over to the child. If you are unsure how to approach a child’s views, discuss the situation with an appropriate professional.
What is mediation?
Mediation is a facilitated conversation with a neutral professional. Participants identify what they already agree on, clarify the matters that remain, and explore whether they can develop their own solution. The mediator does not decide the dispute for them, and a session does not guarantee a settlement.
Do we have to agree on everything before mediation?
No. Many people agree on some issues and need help with others. Preparing a list of points of agreement and unresolved questions can help focus the conversation. It may also show that more information is needed before either person can make an informed decision.
Can mediation address property division and parenting arrangements?
Yes, those are common topics in divorce-related mediation. The discussion may involve identifying assets and debts, considering what each person wants to retain, and working through custody and parenting-time arrangements. What can be resolved depends on the participants, the information available, and the circumstances of the case. An attorney can advise an individual about proposed legal terms.
Do I need a lawyer if I participate in mediation?
You can discuss whether to participate with or without your own attorney. A mediator’s neutral role is different from an attorney’s role as an individual advocate: the mediator cannot give one participant personal legal advice. You may wish to consult an attorney before mediation, during a break, or before signing a proposed agreement—particularly if a term is unclear or you feel pressured to decide.
What should I bring to mediation?
Start with a list of the issues you want to discuss and the information needed to understand them. In a divorce, that may include recent account statements, information about debts and retirement accounts, tax returns, and documents concerning real estate. If children are involved, think through their routines, needs, and the parenting decisions that remain open. Ask the mediator what materials they prefer in advance; preparation requirements vary.